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I’m sure you’ve seen it before, at least once. A Facebook post or a tweet or Instagram caption with an adorable picture of a pet and the name “Fluffy” or “Spots.” You know that’s not their real name, but you can’t help but wonder if they’re going to be okay. They might even have some good qualities!
But there are so many ways these names can go wrong – here are 8 sins of food-named pets in order from worst to best:
A) Fluffy: This is one way to get your pet confused for a dust bunny every day. Unless you want them to look like dessert all the time, this isn’t the best idea.
B) Spots: I get it, this is a common dog breed name. The problem with this one is that you’re telling your neighbors they can’t come over to pet him because he has spots!
C) Bitsy: This sounds like the generic nickname for every female in elementary school who had long hair and glasses on her head. Pets need better nicknames than “Bitsy.”
D) Hamburger: You know what? It’s not bad if you want an inside joke or something – but otherwise, let’s keep hamburgers as food items from now on please and thank-you.
E) Kitty/Puppy/Kitty Cat/ Puppy Doggy: These names sound really cute when babies
A few years ago, I read an article on HuffPost about the most popular names for pets. Cats were dominating with nearly 50% of all pet names and dogs had just 20%. The rest was split between reptiles, horses, rabbits or other animals like birds.
The author then went on to list some of the worst things people have named their pets – surprises that we as human beings are so cruel!
Bugs Bunny (including bugs bunny) is a great example because it’s not only baffling but also insensitive to those who suffer from phobias related to insects. Poor Bugs will never be able to enjoy carrots again without being triggered by his name..
But let me tell you my personal favorite: Tater Tot. It’s so bad. And it’s not even a food name!
Heaven forbid you call your pet something like “Chicken Nuggets,” because then come the jokes about how they actually are chicken nuggets, and that really is the worst of all worlds – for your pet AND those around them who have to hear those awful puns..
For example: Jumbo Pizza might seem cute at first glance but this could be cruel if your dog has an eating disorder or just doesn’t enjoy pizza in general. Be mindful when naming things that matter most to you. Pets should not be made fun of by their names as often as we do with humans on reality TV shows these days..
(Pet owners) will understand why
– __ is too generic. This means your pet’s name will come up when you Google the word, and it’ll be hard to find pictures or videos of your furry friend. It also makes it difficult for other people who are searching for a new pet to know which one they’re looking at!
*Don’t give your pets common names that can refer to many different animals (i.e., Dog). Instead, choose something more specific like Fluffy or Paws.*
– __ sounds kind of gross in English. Some languages don’t have this issue because their alphabet has fewer letters than ours does – think about how Spanish speakers say “chinchilla” instead of “guinea pig.” But if you’re not into saying __, then you’re in the clear!
– __ sounds like a bad word. Even if you know what that other meaning is, it’s still kind of uncomfortable to say aloud or have your kids repeat every day at school. If this is the case for you and your pet, take solace in knowing that there are plenty more options out there!
*Don’t name pets after alcoholic drinks (i.e., Gin). Instead consider naming them after an animal they resemble (Kitty) or something related to their personality.*
– __ can refer to body parts too rude to mention on TV shows these days.. Again, this one might be tough for some people who speak languages without as many letters.
– __ can be a word that has negative connotations or just sounds like one. If your family is of the “snowflake” variety and gets offended easily, this might not be for you. And if you’re planning on having more than one pet in the house? __ will only continue to cause problems as they grow up!
– __ refers to something gross–like toilet paper, oatmeal, raisins.. You know what I mean. There are plenty of names out there that don’t describe anything terrible. Pick one from another language (Zora) or pick an animal name with no bad associations (Bunny). That way when someone asks about their new pal’s name all anyone hears is “__” and can’t make any assumptions about what it means.
– __ is a word that would be difficult to spell or pronounce for your pet, especially if they’re bilingual like my cat who has trouble with tricky words in English but not her native tongue. If you live by yourself, this might not matter as much since no one will hear the name except cats/dogs! I’ve heard of people going through family members’ names trying to find something phonetic so their pets don’t get frustrated when said aloud.
– __ is just plain weird and risky depending on how many letters there are (Zygote). It’s not worth taking chances when there are plenty out there that seem harmless at first glance–and could even
Sin # __:
Calling your pet something that sounds like what it eats. (i.e. calling a cat “Kitty”). Cats are arachnids, not mammals, so they don’t eat kibble or drink from bowls of milk; they catch and kill prey with their paws! They will also be less likely to come when you call them by the wrong name if it doesn’t sound right to them!)
The Sin in Action: In the case of cats, one should avoid any food-related names such as Kitty for female pets and Kitten for male pets because this can lead people into thinking they’re called after food items instead of being named after an animal species). One should also never give a cat a human name.
Giving your pet the same (or similar) name of someone close to you without their consent – Think about it! It’s like if I called my nephew “Taylor” and he had no idea what his real first and middle names were, or worse still, one day found out that he was legally actually Taylor instead of Alex because I changed his last name on all our legal documents without consulting him. That would be weird for him–and for me because now we’re cousins with different last names! You might not think this is much of an issue but when pets are involved, they will often have the same reactions as people do in these situations since both species share many of the same emotional responses. The only exception to this rule is if the pet has a condition that requires them to take certain medications in order for their body not to reject it and they have no way of telling you about what medicine they need — but even then, there are still other ways we can help make sure our pets feel like “part of the family” instead of guests who happen to be living under our roof. We should also never give a cat a human name. Cats already kind of understand when people talk because every time I say “cheese,” my own little kitten comes running (with her mouth wide open) as fast as she can! But cats don’t care much for words with more than one syllable or